The worst and best week.

Black Friday; the worst day of the year.

There are a few reasons to not like this week and only one to love it. Thanksgiving unfortunately now, will be a reminder of my dad, maybe someday I may not cry, but not this year. 

Like my dad, I’ve never been a fan of getting up early to go out and beat the crowds, and get the “deals” — in fact, I’m of the group that would prefer to spend the day in pj’s, decorate, sip spiked hot cocoa (salted caramel baileys) and listen to John Denver and the muppets sing their felt-lined faces out. 

Outside of having to work (worked for a photo processing company in the mall), or cover events for the newspaper and just one time with friends, I avoided the mall like it was the gates of hell on Black Friday. Amazon is both a blessing and a curse; I can now quickly get presents ordered, have them wrapped and shipped around the World. I can also spend money much easier and much faster! 

A day designed to spend ridiculous amounts of money AND force me to get up before the ass-crack-of-dawn is just not something I enjoy or have ever enjoyed. Black Friday — is the how-cheap-can-I-get-this 70-inch LED 10k, ultra-ultra-super-def-FX 1-trillion color TV and that’s not the holidays. That someone is spending their money for them, and that’s perfectly fine, I just don’t like that this day has turned into a shoving match at multiple stores, to see humanity fight over something that in 5 years (or let’s be honest; less) they replace? Having spent a large part of my career in the retail industry, I’ve dealt with customers, I’ve heard the complaints  — the how dare you run out? 

When I shop for family and friends, no matter the celebration, gift giving has always been about finding that person the right present, not something they want but something that when they open, makes them smile or laugh. Sometimes it’s a need, sometimes it’s on their list, sometimes it’s not. Seeing the surprise in their face as they open something they know was meant just for them is everything. I am also a massive proponent of screwing with someone. 

I once wrapped a present 7 times in 6 boxes, on the outside of the last box was a #10, the next box was marked #9, then #8, and so on. I also once added bricks to a present. I’ve wrapped paper plates. The best one however was wrapping my friend’s (ex-roomate, wifey, sister) daughter's present extremely well, then sealed every single fold or potential opening with tape. That’s the fun, those memories and moments when utter happiness and laughter occur.

Thanksgiving is also my favorite day.

It’s not the food, while that is an added bonus, it’s the time spent catching up, playing games, laughing, and talking with family, friends, kids, cousins, grandparents, pets. It’s simple.

Gathering. 

Whether it’s with friends, old and new, family, or even co-workers, it’s the gathering of people.

I was lucky in many ways growing up. We had a decent size family; all together, I had 3 uncles and 3 aunts between the 2 sides. Every one of them had multiple kids. Sadly we didn’t spend much time in Indiana while growing up, but my biggest memory from that part of my family (dad’s side) was a white farmhouse in the middle of fields, spending the night at my cousins in town, building snow forts in the massive amount of snow, and riding a part of a wall being towed on the back of a tractor as we sledded through acres of corn while it snowed. We played King of the Hill and the last man standing won.

I was knocked off in the middle of a cornfield, unsure which way back to the house. I think I was about 9 when I realized, you can get lost in the middle of a cornfield. If you’re thinking, just look for the sun, then you’ve never lived in the Midwest. The days are just gray, like actual months of zero sunlight. I’m not talking about polar nights, I’m talking gray, there is no color in the world gray. The sun looks like it’s been placed on a massive Hollywood-style softbox. The sun is simply just gone. There’s light one moment, you sneeze and it’s just dark.

Obviously, I survived being tossed from a moving tractor, you really do learn quickly how to tuck and roll. I also don’t think anyone was worried about a kid getting lost on a few hundred acres. It’s survival training at its best. I even spent my 3-week trip across the country with my grandparents mostly in the bed of his truck (he had a cap) while my grandfather checked off mile after mile as we drove to and from Casper, Wyoming.

Was that legal? No clue. 

Did I love it? Most Definitely.

I didn’t care, I had my sleeping bag, pillow, a few books, snacks, and a map. I spent hours looking out the side windows of the cab. If I got bored, I’d climb through the center window into the front seat.

We spent almost every Thanksgiving and Christmas driving to Clayton, Ohio (mom’s side). Dad took on blizzards and clear days, just for the few days we spent with family. It was the time my cousins, aunts, and uncles gathered at Grandma’s house. Don’t know why, but I only ever referred to it as her house, even though Grandpa was there.

The heated garage was the “kids” room until it got close to bedtime, then it became the poker room. We played board games including the vintage “Careful” game, pick-up sticks, but Monopoly was the tired and true option until UNO became the game. We pulled a sled with the small lawnmower my grandpa had, made snow forts, and drank hot cocoa. All of these moments were caught on film and video by my grandfather. My grandfather spent decades documenting his life. Moments from his time before he met my grandmother, trips to Chicago to see family, trips west to see more family and birds, lots and lots of birds. There was also lots of distant antelope sprinting across the landscape. Watching our parents riding horses, throwing tinsel, celebrating birthdays and past holidays. We’d watch these silent movies in the small kitchen, with the kids sitting on the floor, and the 10+ adults crammed around the table. 

This feeling of gathering is something I always crave during the holidays. I think it's something most of us crave in a small way. I hosted my first “friendsgiving” in the late 90s and I carried on that tradition in LA and would host it at Tahitian Village. I opened my doors to anyone in the complex that wanted to celebrate or like me, not heading back home.

Yes, there are a few things I do not like about this week, but this one day, the few hours of gathering make up for it all. If you know someone spending it alone, invite them over to join you, text them, or better yet call. Connect. Make plans to gather. 

Happy Thanksgiving.