When did sleep become required?
I was the night owl.
I spent years surviving on 4-5 hours a night in my teens and 20s. I stayed up late, I worked a midday shift, which was absolutely ideal for me. I had a social life, and was working in the news industry. I knew what was going on, my thumb was on the pulse of the towns I lived in. Sleep was not as required. There were times when I would go 2 days with no sleep. I can’t do it now.
In my 30s, my sleep varied (my LA years) I would use weekends to “catch up”, which in reality, it’s not catch up — it was my body saying, my energy was at 0% and I needed to respawn. Naps were my way to shut my brain down, relax and they would quickly suck away a day. I began to look forward to nap days. I still do, sometimes.
I ignored my tiredness as much as I could, I also smoked a pack a day. I did maintain some healthy habits; I had been actively going to the gym, I swam most of the year, I was walking 10k steps a day on average. I even completed my first 5k—with a crap knee. I was attempting to become a healthier version of me in a city where I spent most of my time in a car or behind a desk.
I was going 200 mph while in LA; I worked in tele-sales, as a HS photography teacher, an ad designer, a product packaging designer, as Professional tech support for a major camera company, a freelance photographer, web designer, graphic designer, as an on-set photographer, an e-commerce manager and even an audience seater (yes, I worked behind the hollywood curtain for a year). I worked to survive.
I very slowly climbed up those corporate ladders and struggled the entire way. Fear, recessions, and an hourly rate that is unsurvivable with just one job in one of the largest cities on the planet kept me at 200 mph, so I slept when I could and every spare moment I had I napped. I would skip lunch and nap in my car. Sunday was my official laundry and “nap day”. I even had a schedule that would allow me to wake up from the nap and then swim.
I finally had the moment to get my knee looked at and replaced. While I recovered, I was hit with Ramsay Hunt Syndrome (read more here), this wake up call quickly changed how I felt about my life and the direction it was going. So I changed it.
I won't go into those details you can read more through the link above but can someone help me? Cause my 50-year-old self has a question I should have asked in my 30s.
Can someone explain the math to me?
(sidebar)
The idea that an adult that has completed and earned a 4 year degree still struggles to survive on what even the US government states is more than the minimum working wage, which by the way is currently $7.25 per hour. This minimum definitely varies by state, California’s minimum in 2004 was $6.25. In 2004 was making $10 plus commission (40 hours a week) at one and $10 at another (15-20 hrs a week).
I spent years on average earning $15 an hour. We’re going to leave out taxes, state, fed, and all the other deductions, like health insurance - out of the equation.
Working a 40 hour week is about $600.
Month = $2400
Year = $31,200
Seems doable right? I’m single, no kids. Expenses are minimal.
Rent $825 (cost of my place in 2004) One Bedroom.
Electric $150
Car $225
Gas $200
Groceries $200
Insurance $75
Cell $100
Total $1775 — (averaged of course)
So $2400 - 1775 = $625
Leaves me with roughly $625 of spending money, keep in mind I had debt, lots of it (I was stupid and young). I was also paying back college debt (owed 25k), because, yes I put myself through school. My loans were for my art and photography supplies, books, and everything I needed to obtain a degree in Studio Art and Photography.
College: $125
Credit Cards: $300
Going Out/Entertainment: $100
Other Expenses $75
Total: $600
I have $25 left. Wait. Forgot, now remove taxes, health insurance etc. Having the second job is the only way to survive in L.A. EVERYONE has a side-hussle. It was about survival for most. Needless to say, I have worked most of my life 2-3 jobs, freelancing and helping other companies achieve growth while I constantly struggled. I can look back now and realize my biggest, most MASSIVE mistake was not taking business classes, not taking the classes that would teach me how to understand my worth in a company and demand the income I should have been paid.
But, it's what it is or was now. I can’t change it, just understand and learn from it.
Developing Routines and Better Habits.
Since Ramsay Hunt Syndrome, my life has been about improving myself. I’ve left Los Angeles, I’ve also quit smoking, which everyday, I am grateful. I had lost weight, but it’s now back, which I am working on….again. Since I’ve learned to listen to my body, getting the right amount of sleep has became a priority.
Before Ramsay Hunt Syndrome, the previous 4 years of my LA life was a rise, wake, repeat of survival. Wake at 4:30, Dogs, Gym, Shower, Drive, Work, Drive, Dogs, Swim/Gym, Eat, Work, Sleep. Repeat.
I spent 15 years in LA getting up before the sun. Not a fan. Waking at 4:30 am; I hated it, the flip side. I also loved it. I was done with work by 3:30 every day - this allowed me time to swim while the sun was still warm and high enough in the sky. I’d be home by 5ish, walk the dogs, change and spend the next couple of hours swimming and relaxing. I’d then work for the next 3-5 on my own projects, client projects, friend projects. Weekends when I wasn’t working, I’d spent hours in the pool. In fact a few of us at the complex would text each other “keep it up” which was meant head to the pool, it’s game time! Essentially the same game Joey, Ross and Chandler played on the TV Show “Friends”.
Keep it UP!
It’s a cross between volleyball and hot potato.
What you Need
One inflatable pool ball (the bigger the better)
Two or more people (the more the better)
The Rules
Hit the ball back and forth
Shout whatever word you want to claim the hit.
The ball can not leave the pool.
It can not touch the water.
It can not touch the ground.
You can not hit it more than once during your move
Have someone be the unofficial score keeper. (doesn’t actually matter)
Do this as long as you can or until you are bored.
The pool was my spot to relax, catch up with my neighbors and friends, lay back and float and watch the palm trees swaying in the wind. It became the spot I would unwind from the day. Then it was back to the Eat, Sleep. Repeat.
Since leaving LA I now head to bed at 10 and play Big Bangor other shows in the background while I check out social media. I set my TV timer to 60 mins, my “fairy lights” to 2 hrs and lay in bed. It's my time to catch up with my friends online, see what’s trending on TikTok, IG etc. I’m usually asleep before both shut off.
Most days. Some night RHS kicks in an I lie there in full vertigo waiting for the ride to end or for me to simply just pass out.
I have found that if I wake up naturally, when my brain and body say, it’s time. Then my day is much more productive and creative. It’s something I’ve only been able to do since I left LA. It has been one of the best aspects of this lifestyle.
I did have a small stint since that required me to clock in - and be present, which worked but I have found that I love working for just me. There is a joy in knowing that I am in control of my fate. That I rely on myself to move forward and take on the challenge of owning a business that can make a viable income.
Now, I’m working all day and until I go to bed, but the biggest difference, I don’t hate it, I’m not stressed, life has changed in a way unexpected. Once I head up to my room for the evening that’s when I’m done. My brain shuts off and if a project is not done, I work on it the next day.
Sleep however is now required and when I say this I mean 7-8 hours a night. I now wake up slow. I enjoy my coffee and catch up on YouTube videos on Monday morning and once the Sawyer has handled his morning chores and eats, I head back up stairs and will spend the entire day creating and working.
There are no naps, there is no TV. It’s books on Audio, silence or music.
There is just me and my creative brain.
#tuesdayswithjoy
